So, it has been almost a week since our officially official compact came to an end. I have been really quite grumpy this week. I am struggling with feeling guilty and mad when about to buy something or in a place where I could buy something. It is really annoying to myself and others around me (ie: my poor husband).

I have discovered through the years that I am an “all or nothing” kind of gal. I think this is where the majority of my struggle is coming from. For the last year, I have thought of shopping as “bad.” Now that it is “allowed” again, I still have it in my head that it is bad and I think badly about myself when I do buy something. There are some things in life that you just need to buy new. For example, my iron has been leaking water for the last… well year. I have tried to find one at a thrift store, but to no avail. So, purchase number one of this new year, an iron. I bought it from Canadian Tire (at least it is Canadian) but, let me tell you people, I don’t think it is possible to find a fair trade iron! This annoys me to no end, because I can’t feel good about my purchase and I just feel like a consumer again. How do ideals and reality come together in life?

I think I am a little broken and I need to give myself a break. I am a conscious consumer. I do think before I buy. I am not going on a huge shopping spree of things I don’t need. I am just having a little difficulty adapting and not living a life governed by strict rules. Not having strict rules is harder for me than having them.

As 2008 drew to a close last night Malora and I both felt very proud and relieved about what we had done throughout the past year. We went an entire year without buying anything new. No shopping malls - No Old Navy. Nothing. We didn’t cheat or break down and we stayed the course for one whole year.

It was an interesting journey and I never expected to get the attention that we got. I think Malora and I have both been significantly changed in the way we view our relationship to money and the stuff we buy. I think we learned to be more generous and view everything we have as a gift from God.

So what’s next? We got an email from a guy who encouraged us to keep the compact going indefinitely. Although I agree that we do not want to end this fast by gorging oursleves on consumption - I think that our year long experiencement of the Compact life is over. Now we have the difficult task of living within (or below) our means in a consumeristic society. It is much easier not to be consumed by shopping when you have rules against it, but the real test is living within that society without being consumed by it.

As we struggle to find balance within the culture of consumption we will continue to write posts about our experiences. The experiment is over for us - but the experience is not because it has deeply altered who we are and how we live in this world. There are definitely certain principles and rules that we will live by now that I will expound on later. We have become conscientious conscious consumers.

Thank you to every one who was a part of this journey with us. Thank you for the encouragement, prayers, emails, comments, and ideas. Thank you for reading our blog and being an integral part of this past year. Thanks for sharing our story. We are very thankful for everyone who has been impacted in any small way by our compact life.

So that’s it. Our year is over - but our new life begins today.